The Sidemen game was a welcomed throwback to a nostalgic sport we know
Those who hold football as sacred shouldn't view the Sidemen's influencer charity game with any elitism or arrogance. It was great.
People are often united by their country’s national side and England is no different. A requirement for feel-good national bonding in football is for the national side to be successful, entertaining or both.
This Friday gone, on San Siro’s carpet, England ultimately displayed a dismal, grey and uninspired performance that reflected its country’s shifting climate. Italy had got the better of the English again as ‘why did I tune into that game…’ complaints littered social media.
The following afternoon, The Valley hosted a game, this time on home turf, that boasted over 2,000,000 concurrent viewers.
The stadium itself was a sold out affair. The 27,000 fans in attendance sat to watch influencers, YouTubers, friends and novices play in a 90 minute charity game — players that were the antithesis of those an international football match between England and Italy would field.
Sidemen FC’s game against the YouTube All-Stars was indeed a far cry from the Italy and England matchup that came a day earlier, though not due to a lack of the YouTubers’ footballing ability. The difference instead was that the influencer charity game was far greater in its story, entertainment and human emotion — unifying in the ways the national team at its best would be.
As the first whistle blew, Mark Clattenburg looked on as streamer Speed leapt, full-fledged, into a slide tackle, flattening KSI. What an utterly insane sentence, by the way.
The (‘excessive force’) tackle was called but not carded in the good-humoured spirit of the occasion.
You often hear generations of old complain about how soft the sport has become, longing for a return to the ‘good, old days.’ The professional game is too far gone to ever return to anything that resembles the physicality of the early 2000s and all the entertainment it brought.
There’s many complex reasons for that but I suppose the refereeing judgments in such charity games reintroduce some of those storylines into football — the comedy, pantomime, and ‘rivalries’ as seen above.
Football was a sport founded upon physicality that transitioned into a technical game but there was a period in the middle that balanced the most entertaining mix of both.
Physicality reminds us of the duelling football games we’ve played with friends going back to when we were in school. Yesterday’s reintroduced physicality was a welcomed means of entertainment that compensated for some of the non-Premier League quality, although through periods, the technical quality remained impressive enough to provide its own entertainment.
Both parts, technical ability and physicality, did their part in elevating the occasion.
Such technical ability was displayed by a considerable few including YouTube All-Stars’ mesmerising pivot of Noah Beck and Yung Filly. In fact, the rotating quartet completed by Theo Baker and Chunkz, deserve a mention in the same breath.
Speed’s technical ability absolutely does not deserve a mention in that same breath, however I do feel the need to give him an honourable mention in his role as a genuinely useful outlet.
The outlet being an under-appreciated profile combined with his front-footed, duelling temperament, Speed impressed as well as somebody unfamiliar with the off-side rule’s existence could do.
Beck’s assuredness and technical base unsurprisingly shone through given his history as a previous Real Salt Lake academy player. The proficiency by which the midfielder manipulated the ball, whether through close dribbles, powerful ball-carrying or punching passes, allowed him to dominate between the boxes.
Beck’s spry partner at the heart of the game moved the needle with boyish enthusiasm and accomplished technical execution. Body feint followed by burst left the Sidemen’s side unable to contain Filly, who played with intuition and expression that got fans off their seat.
The most impressive action of the game was Filly’s wonder strike — a goal that wouldn’t look out of place in a Premier League Goal of the Month nomination’s list highlighting some of that technical quality that accompanied the aforementioned physical game.
Harry Pinero’s imperious defending, whether sweeping or hunkering down, was a sight to behold and I had him as a Man of the Match candidate if not for Tobi Brown or Simon Minter, the stars of most of these charity matches.
6 goal contributions, evenly split by the way of 3 goals and 3 assists…at this point, it would be foolish to bring up new names when predicting who the star of the next game will be. As the final whistle goes each year, Simon remains the difference maker.
Ignoring the moments of magic, the technical and physical game, the well-matched sides and the storylines of KSI vs Speed, Noah vs Chris and Vikkstar vs a clean strike — there were footballing reasons as to why the game was a refreshing change compared to the monotonous chess matches we see week-in, week-out in the Premier League.
Yes, the Premier League plays at a quality higher now than we’ve ever seen before but there’s a debate that can be had as to whether it is at its most entertaining.
Yesterday was unlike what we see in the league in 2022 in two primary ways — spacing and philosophy.
Both teams played to attack and score often. That’s always a great start.
Attacking intention paired with sub-professional defensive training and fitness allowed attacking players time and space we rarely see in the Premier League anymore.
In international football, we get a glimpse of this entertaining alternative. International sides aren’t as compact; they coordinate a press less effectively and often opt to simply block space, deep instead.
That approach in defence gives the team in possession extra time on the ball to express greater creativity. It’s why international tournaments are exciting output-wise, think France vs Switzerland’s 3-3 at Euro 2020.
Yesterday’s game was this but turned all the way up.
Alongside increasingly compact defensive shapes, the use of advanced analytics (models of expected goals, for example) have discouraged the frequent use of long shots, in favour of taking high-percentage shots close to goal.
The questionable keepers (apologies Pieface and Cal) and the increased time and space available to attacking players meant there was no real need to care for high probability tap-ins.
Instead, there was a willingness to have game highlights that attempted to look like the Premier League goals from December 2006.
Positional freedom allowed the likes of Filly, Chunkz, Chris and Theo to roam the field and play freely outside of the confines of staying in one area and playing predictable, choreographed passes you’d find in the ever-present positional play systems.
Ultimately, the freedom and expression in style on display was akin to the sport that we as fans play. It was more relatable than the game at the highest level, which exists as a product casual fans don’t always understand. And that enjoyable display was played by entertainers we’ve grown with over the years, as the cast.
“The guys are like brothers, they know each other inside out. That’s got to help them on the pitch.
My instruction is just…play like brothers when you get out there. I’m sure you guys will fight for each other and want to win for each other.”
These passing words from Wingrove, Sidemen FC’s manager, pre-game were resonant as I watched the game.
In football you can gain the advantage in a multitude ways — positionally, numerically and in quality. The fourth way to gain an advantage is often less appreciated but it goes by the term ‘socio-affection.’ Simply put, this is developing an understanding and chemistry between players — players who ‘speak the same language.’ It is when we connect those who identify and understand each other well.
Think Messi to Alba. Think Ancelotti allowing Vinicius and Benzema to play between themselves, without much strict instruction, other than facilitating their natural connection.
The Sidemen as friends who have known each other for years hold a chemistry day to day that translates onto the field. The best example of this though requires a reference to (for me) the game’s best player.
Simon played the assist for Tobi’s first with an automatic proactivity and Tobi Brown’s combination with his brother Manny was the most magic. Both siblings interacted knowing where the other would be and when — space, timing and chemistry. A Tobi trivela cross met by the late-run and header of Manny was the culmination of years experienced, a beautiful goal and a lovely human moment.
It’s unlikely many, if any of these decisions were taken deliberately but the aforementioned footballing concepts are what made the spectacle so enjoyable against what we are now used to at the highest level of the sport. It was human, it was authentic, it was natural and it was fun.
Chelsea’s new co-owner, Todd Boehly’s suggestion of a Premier League All-Star game was met with disdain by loud footballing voices but after seeing the success of something like the Sidemen’s game from a pure entertainment and footballing perspective, it’s hard to think a one-off pre-season friendly would be a bad idea.
To see some of the Premier League’s finest players, play with additional space and reduced defensive intensity, taking risky long-range strikes and attempting skills they’d never try in a league game, in a crossover side with players they’d never pair up with? That creates an engaging and desired spectacle, I’m sure.
The Sidemen charity game was a footballing success but it was also wonderful for the money it raised for CALM, Teenage Cancer Trust, Rays of Sunshine and M7 Education, a tally that surpassed a million pounds.
The Sidemen with their fellow UK creators, and the ultra-famous celebrities from across the continent, unifying for a greater cause would’ve been more than admirable but putting on a genuinely engaging sports event in the meantime typifies the consistent and ever-elevating levels the Sidemen seem to achieve.
The 7 members of the Sidemen have grown over the last decade whilst holding the attention of a generation of the UK. There’s an unprecedented longevity as well as a re-imagination and domination of multiple fields, without any sign of decline. The Sidemen have a serious hold on the culture and despite their unrelenting fame and influence, have remained fairly grounded and true to their roots.
As the final whistle went, there was a moment of exhalation, a brief mindful reflection on where the online scene had ended up. For the Sidemen and their success, I couldn’t do any better than reiterating the fitting, improvised words of Drake, after a prior sporting success close to his heart: the Toronto Raptors’ game 5 win in 2019.
Look around. Look at this, we created this. This didn’t exist before we were here. I swear I promise you right now, we did this.
Yesterday was the Sidemen’s we created this moment and football was the means by which they unified millions irrespective of age, gender or ethnicity, for a cause bigger than themselves.
The universal nature of the sport is its most beautiful feature and to those who hold the game as sacred, you shouldn't view the Sidemen's influencer charity match with any elitism or arrogance.
It was football.